Last night, as I was cooking, I asked one of my sons to go out to the garage freezer and grab a bag of frozen veggies to go with dinner. He came up with a bag of frozen lima beans. I shuddered as I picked them up and asked him if that's what he really meant to get. He looked at them, shrugged and said, "I thought I just grabbed peas. Oh well, I'm too lazy to go down again." So lima beans it was.
Years ago, I was fixing a bag of frozen mixed vegetables, which happened to include lima beans. No problem, I'm sure I could get away with not eating them. During dinner, I noticed Hayden shoveling the lima beans into his mouth as quickly as possible and then following the shoveling with "Yummy!" I quickly devised a plan. I, being the kind and generous mother that I was, offered Hayden my lima beans. I told him that I loved them, but I could see that he loved them more, so he accepted my offer. That began a habit of Hayden finishing off my limas. This happened for about ten years. One day, when he was about twelve, I mentioned my dislike for lima beans and his jaw dropped. He said, "I thought you loved lima beans! I thought you were only sharing with me because you loved me!" Caught. What to do? I came clean.
Back to the present day. After dinner last night, we had a discussion of all my lies. Yes, it was a mischievous thing for me to do, but now all of my kids will eat lima beans. I have lied about my "love" for creepy crawlies so that my children won't have fears of bugs or reptiles. I have lied about liking many foods so that my children would learn to like everything. I have even told them stories of people coming in the night and taking their teeth and leaving money, and other people leaving gifts at Christmas time.
Was all this deception necessary? Perhaps not. But I look at who my children are becoming and I am glad I did it. They are not picky eaters, most of them will eat just about anything. They are not afraid of things (except for Turner who has recently experienced an attack of bees after stepping on a hive) that many other kids are afraid of. I want to send my kids out into the world confident and strong, and without fear. My hope is that the little things that I have done will help them with that.
5 comments:
What a good post - and I know it's true. I'm more than willing to lie a little to accomplish the greater goal of a good kid.
Last night, I had the opportunity to watch my husband realize that his own mother might have lied and manipulated situations to create learning experiences for him (yes, this is probably the first time he's thought that). It was really fun for me to watch his expresssion. I lie a little here and there to teach them (and sometimes when I don't want to share my goodies with them).
Cracks me up that you were "caught". Way to turn it into a good teaching moment.
I have to say that I have done the same things...but my kids never fell for the veggies thing. I still can't get them to eat anything!
This post is hysterical! You're such a great writer, Les.
BTW, I'm making lima bean casserole for Thanksgiving. Yum-o!
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