I guess we are normal again. I use the terms "normal" and "again" very loosely here. By "normal" I mean, we don't really have any catastrophic events consuming our lives. Things have fallen into a "normal" routine. Dix has been working for about six months now, and we are to the point where we have kind of caught up financially, physically, spiritually and emotionally. It's amazing how much depression can suck the life out of a family. It really was all-consuming. Although it was Dixon that suffered from the actual physiological symptoms, we all suffered the effects of it.
And after a while you forget what normal feels like.
And then things are normal again and you start to remember.
Normal is smiling randomly throughout the day, because I have things to look forward to.
Normal is not feeling the weight of anxiety pressing down on my chest all day and all night.
Normal is not having to put on a facade for people so that they think everything is okay, when inside you are a mess. Because you are finally not a mess.
Normal is having fun and smiling and laughing. We are doing it again and it feels so familiar.
Normal is being spontaneous.
Normal is being carefree.
Normal is looking forward to another day with my husband, not dreading a lifetime of days of trudging through depression.
Normal is having hopes and dreams, and actually thinking it's possible to achieve them.
I am grateful for the experiences we have had because not only has it made us more compassionate, but it has helped our children become these amazing people that they possibly never would have become.
Perhaps we have burned some bridges because we've been high maintenance or undependable, but I suppose those bridges were on roads that we didn't need to travel on anyway.
I don't dread the next 50 years of my life, worrying that I will be alone emotionally.
I look forward to relearning how to be a team player in my marriage, not trying to do it all and failing miserably.
Life is normal. And normal is good.
6 comments:
Ah, we love you guys Leslie! What a beautiful post! We think you guys are quite amazing and we are so happy to see you doing well.
yah! Normal is great!
What a nice posting. Normal is nice and you have a great attitude & family.
Hooray for normal!!
Yay! But remember that normal can take a side road or two and that's okay too
I hate the facade part of depression and financial problems. It's so good when you know a friend is a friend and there can be just honesty and love.
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